Tuesday, December 3, 2013

The Infamous Ellen James by N.A. Alcorn


Meet twenty-eight year old Ellen James. A sarcastic, feisty, foul-mouthed ER Nurse. She is snarky, sassy, and sometimes crudely inappropriate. After a terrible breakup with her fiancĂ©, Ellen has promised herself that she will never make the mistake of falling for another man again… and physicians, well she’s more than written them off.
Once she meets sexy Trauma Surgeon, Dr. Trent Hamilton, this promise is unbelievably hard to keep. This too-hot-for-Ellen's-own-good man is undeniably sexy and down-right irresistible. He leaves her breathless, speechless, and irritatingly turned on. He makes her fantasize about him in all kinds of dirty, inappropriate ways.
With the help of her obnoxious, and often times hilarious best friend Amy, Ellen will find herself in several crazy, embarrassing situations. 

This is a story of friendship, love and how one very sarcastic woman can find the strength to pick up the pieces after having her heart broken. 

In her first novel, N.A. Alcorn provides interesting takes on the word vagina, while giving you a reason to re-think your next visit to the Emergency Room. This book is bound to make you laugh, smile, and provide you with enough sarcasm to choke your grandmother. No, N.A. doesn’t want anything bad to happen to your Grandma Ruth, but she does want you to strongly consider re-naming your vibrator after a guy who’s at the top of your spank bank rotation. Be prepared for dripping juice-boxes, awkward pelvic thrusting, and a little suspense to keep your snatch on edge. 

Warning: This novel contains explicit sex, profanity and far too much vaginal humor. This novel is not meant for anti-fornicators, up-tight prudes, or virgins who refuse to go to Pound Town.


I LOVE this book!! If I could give this book more than five stars I would. It had it all; it was sweet, sassy, a bit of suspense and best of all it was hilarious. There were MANY times that I laughed hysterically while reading this book. The Infamous Ellen James had a bit of a Tangled feel but this book was nothing like Tangled. It was completely original but equally as amazing. 

I was hooked from the minute I started this book. We start out with a prologue from Trent's POV and I knew from the first few pages that I was going to love this man. Trent Hamilton is sexy as sin with his tall, muscular, lean body. His short brown hair and green eyes, hysterical personality, and he is a trauma surgeon who isn't a pretentious dick. He became a surgeon because he truly loves doing what he does, and helping others. Not to climb a social ladder and keep up with the Jones'. What more could a person ask for?! I for sure was under the spell of the "Hamiltonian Effect." We are also introduced to Ellen James and find out why she known as "The Infamous Ellen James." Ellen is doing a presentation at the conference that Trent happens to be at.

"She turns to the next slide as she continues to highlight some of Regency's preferred methods of staffing protocols, and that's when my mouth drops open. The next slide is a picture of a very scantily clad Ellen James sporting a huge strap-on. Shit, that rubber cock must be at least eleven or twelve inches." 

Yes folks, that's how this book starts out and it gets even funnier from there. 

Ellen James is newly single and an ER nurse for Regency Medical. After coming home from a conference that didn't turn out so well, her night got even worse when she finds her fiance in bed with her friend and co-worker.  

"Not just any other woman though-my friend and coworker, Veronica Morris. Shit hit the fan, and let's just say we won't be sharing Pinterest recipes or braiding each other's hair anytime soon."

"John and Veronica are the biggest dickheads I have ever laid eyes on. They gave in to their slutty, cock-sucking, whore-filled desires and ruined a long-term relationship that was soon to turn into a marriage."

After finding out her fiance was a lying, cheating bastard, Ellen did what any woman would do. She went to the one person that knew her the best and that she could count on, her best friend Amy.  Amy let her wallow in pitty for a week then forced her to pick her self up and move on. By moving on, I mean drown her sorrows in alcohol and a string of one night stands. 

"Nothing says 'I'm trying to get over my ex' like going on a tequila bender and waking up with some random, faceless guy passed out in your bed. When guys talk about 'beer goggles,' I always kind of thought they were full of shit, but now I can say I understand this term one hundred and ten percent."

She goes by Elle and is full on ornery and sarcastic. She is the queen of come backs and most times doesn't hold back. That is what I loved so much about her. She was relateable and you can't help but love her. We have all been there; had our hearts broken by a stupid guy and proceeded to drown our sorrows over some good alcohol and men. Only, I don't have as good of stories as Elle has. Her's are much better and a hell of a lot more funnier. It's not just her one night stand stories that are so funny. Even though her becoming a You-Tube sensation over night was pretty hilarious. There is so much more to the book than that. Seeing her side of a situation while at work was epic. I don't want to give too much away but be on the look out for Dr. Bill Simon, the back door pregnant woman in labor, and the lady that "fell" on a light bulb. N.A. Alcorn did a fantastic job of describing everything and I felt like was in the room with them watching everything happen in real time. 

Trent takes a temporary job filling in for Dr.Grey at Regency Medical who is out on leave. He wasn't sure he was going to take the job but it was just too perfect not to once he saw Ellen James. He knew he had to get to know her. The sexual chemistry between these two was off the charts. There was insta-attraction in this book but not insta-love. I loved watching their relationship develop and grow. Seeing Elle learn to trust again and Trent patiently waiting. As I read more and more of this book and got to know each character better I realized just how perfect they were for each other. 

"He's more than just a pleasant surprise; he's the surprise of a lifetime. He's like the winning lottery ticket, Olympic gold medal, and Nobel Prize wrapped up in one beautiful package with a giant red bow."

There were times when I would get frustrated and wanted to yell at Elle and tell her to just give in already! It was like N.A. was in my brain because as soon as I would think that she would write a line like this:

"I know. I know you're thinking, why are you being so frustrating? So utterly annoying? Why don't you just talk to him about it? I wish it were that easy. I really do."
I loved that. She wrote everything into this book that we all think while we are reading. She never frustrated me to the point of wanting to throw my kindle across the room. She did it just enough to piss me off then she made it all better by breaking up the frustration with something that would cause me to laugh out loud. 

At the beginning of every chapter there is a quote from the chapter. I LOVE these. I hope she continues to do this in her next book in the series because they were awesome. They gave just a little insight as to what was coming in the chapter but not enough to give everything away. They sucked me in every chapter; hook, line and sinker. 

There was a teeny tiny suspenseful part, I say it was suspense because it technically was, but I saw it coming from a mile away. I always pick up on little hints throughout books and I nailed this one. I understand why it was done and it wasn't bad, it just wasn't a shock to me. 

I can't write this review without talking about the secondary characters, Amy, Lizzy, and Dr. Hammer. Oh My Goodness!! AMY IS AMAZING!!! I want her as my best friend. She is just as funny as Elle and she is a take no shit kind of girl. Her book is next in this series and I can't freaking wait for it to come out. Lizzy is Elle's sister who shows up drunk on her doorstep after leaving her husband. Lizzy was always the prim and proper sister who never did anything wrong. Well that all changes when she shows up drunk. I liked seeing Elle and Lizzy get close again and start to have a good sister relationship that everyone wants. Dr.Hammer is a full on super hero. He should have his own cape. I want Dr.Hammer to use his superhero powers on me because WOAH he is fanfreakingtastic. 

I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!! <--See those shouty caps?! They are necessary. I want to pull a Tom Cruise moment and jump on the couch screaming to anyone who will listen how much I love this book. GO. ONE-CLICK. NOW. I promise you won't regret it and you will love this book as much I do. 

The Infamous Ellen James is a MUST read. That’s right you are required to read this book and you won’t regret it. This book is funny, it’s sweet, it has a bit of suspense thrown in there, and it’s hot…H.O.T. It couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I was in a bit of book hangover and N.A. Alcorn brought me right out of it.

Ellen or Elle James is an ER nurse who is feisty, funny, and gets herself in all sorts of trouble. She meets Dr. Trent Hamilton after he takes over another Doctor’s practice in South Carolina while he is out on medical leave. Let’s not forget that Trent basically stalks Ellen after seeing her present at a conference, but totally not in a sick and twisted way.  They are instantly attracted to each other. Ellen is not ready for a relationship, after having her heart broken. Trent wants nothing more than a one night stands. But there is something different, something that makes them change their minds, one slower than the other. 

I can’t forget the secondary characters. This book wouldn’t be what it is without them.  First we have Ellen’s best friend and roommate Amy.  Amy is awesome; there is no other word to describe her. I think we should all have a friend like her. Then we have Amy’s sister Lizzy, who is going through her own problems and turns to Amy for support. I must mention Dr. Simon, the ER doctor with Tourette’s, yes that’s right Tourette’s. 

There were times when I wanted to smack Ellen and tell her to pull her head out of her ass and see what was right in front of her, but it also made sense with what she had been through in her previous relationship. Trent Hamilton…..sigh….major, major swoon worthy. I’m definitely under the Hamiltonian Effect and he has made it to top of my Book Boyfriend list. One thing that stood out about this book was that the Prologue and the Epilogue were both in Trent’s POV. I loved getting into his mind seeing what he was thinking.

This was an amazing debut novel by N.A. Alcorn. It’s a book that everyone must read. I’m really looking forward to Amy’s book, the next in the series. Hopefully we will get to see Elle and Trent too. I can’t wait to see what N.A.  comes up with next. I know whatever it is I will be one clicking it as soon as it comes out.

N.A. Alcorn is a wife, mother, labor and delivery nurse, writer, and blogger. She lives in Cincinnati with her husband and three-year-old son, Sid. In her spare time she enjoys reading, writing, running, and having inappropriate conversations with her blog besties. She also has a serious addiction to music and her all-time favorite band is Incubus. Her ability to eat an ungodly amount of Reese’s Cups in a fifteen minute time frame would quite literally blow your mind. 

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1 comment:

  1. Sounds freaking fantastic!! Great review, can't wait to read this one!